Yes, I have finally come to admit I am a type A personality...whatever that means. I already know that I have a red colored parachute...I took several tests to prove that one when I lived in Clovis, NM. So the semester did not go out with quiet the bang I wanted it too. Needless to say I got in trouble. I willingly admit, I made a mistake (I am not going to go into the details because I am not the only person involved). However there was a chain of communication (and the lack thereof) that lead to me having to write an extra essay and three apology letters. The essay on civility in academia I had to write was enlightening. While there are valid complaints of faculty receiving abuse from students, there are equally valid complaints of students receiving poor and improper treatment from their instructors. One author of many of the articles I read suggested there are three types of students: those that conform, those that quit, and those that speak up. It's rather obvious which group I fit into. My father willingly admits there are two things he failed to teach me when growing up (being a girl is not one of them): grace and humility. He says that teaching those virtues are not easy for a single parent, but to teach daughters (from a father's perspective) to stand up for themselves and to speak out against injustice is harder...not to mention teaching your protege tact...well thats rather challenging when the child sees and hears all. I do see and hear all, I am rather intuitive. My general dislike for authority stems from the fact I have been in a position of authority for a good portion of my life, from my understanding of what a leader should be, and from a specific inicident that occurred my sophmore year of college. I was in a statistics class. My professor was so arrogant, our text book was the one he wrote himself. We were to learn how to calculate t-tests. If you know me, you know complicated math is not my strong suit. I was failing to understand a concept, so he called me stupid (YES he called me STUPID) in front of 40 people who didn't know me and told my partner to find a new one because all I would do is help her fail. Over Christmas break that year I had had my first kidney infection, I thought I was going through a relapse and was waiting for the results of my test, it was snowing that day so I was late for class. I forgot to turn off my cell phone and it rang in class. He YELLED at me about being late and disrespectful and again reiterated I was stupid. I quit the class that week, and vowed I would never take that kind of behavior from a professor again. I have been before an academic board for my words in my first degree, but it was determined the professor was in the wrong. I have had problems with bosses before. Yes, I have a problem with authority, but I have high standards for those who are suppose to be my superiors. If they don't meet those standards they will know it through my behavior. Now this would be a problem if I was in the military and it became a problem this semester, and it may be a problem in my future career. I could try to rationalize my behavior by saying Dr Sheep and Dr Fails Us All tried to find every oppurtunity to lecture me about being professional and representing the military because I was an officers wife I am held to a higher standard and whatnot. All semester. I was constantly interupted by them and insulted. What happened at the end of the semester was the straw that broke the camel's back. So I am not sorry for what I said to them. At all. I know that seems immature, rude, and uncivil, but I am not a conformist. I know my actions will not change anything, but I hold out the hope that there are enough students like me at our school to make a difference. If enough of us continuously point out the problems, semester after semester, maybe, just maybe, something will be done. Education, especially education in the healthcare field, should not harbor this kind of hostility and defensiveness, this kind of hypocracy, lies, and frustration.
So when all was said and done...if the incident had not occured I passed with A's and B's. Now it is up to Dr Sheep if I pass the semester at all, if I do I will still have A's and B's, just not as many A's as I deserve. My fate will not be decided until January, a week before 4th semester begins. So if they fail me, I may not be able to enter 3rd semester for the second time. I just want to make it clear, I am sorry for what I did, but I am not sorry for what I said to Dr Fails Us All and Dr Sheep. But I played the game. If anyone thinks I didn't learn anything from this they are wrong. I have learned I have rights too. And now I know what those are. I have learned who my true friends are and I have learned to run my mouth off to someone who will listen instead of someone who will judge.
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