What is a Calling?
I was
talking to my BFF (yes I have one, I call her that, she has many friends, I
have few, let me tell you about her for a brief moment). Ok let me rewind. I
met my BFF at a time in my life that part of me wishes I could forget, or at
least parts of it. We met working in the Nursing School office of the college we
both went to nursing school. She was in the accelerated course a year ahead of
me, the following year I started the regular course and she encouraged and
coached me throughout the whole experience. But more than that she encouraged
and supported me through one of the most turbulent and transforming periods of my
life. <Please refer to previous blog posts to get some details> So the
point is I love this woman and have said on many occasions, if I were to go for
a lady (I like the men), but if I WERE to go for a lady, it would be her. We
have different views on a lot of things, but she gets me. And I get her and I
love her boys to pieces because, well, if you saw them, you’d love them to. Ok
so, back on track. I was talking to my BFF about nursing. I was working on a
project for my graduate certificate (more on that later), and she said
something that made me think. She sees nursing as her calling. Now she’s had
some of the craziest, heart pounding, kick ass experiences as a nurse…whereas I…well…there
was once this meme posted on Facebook, I don’t remember the general gist of it,
but it was two morbidly obese humans in the drive through at Macdonalds on
their freaking scooters. That is my job. Dealing primarily with people who just
plain do not care and are rude and abusive about it. I will say OCCASIONALLY I
get a good one that I just love, but mostly it’s like talking to a brick wall.
Actually I think the brick wall will bend before most of the patients I see
will.
Her
statement got me to thinking. Is nursing my calling? The simple answer is: no.
Nursing is not my “calling”. The way I look at a calling is something you are
destined to do. A job, a career, a task that you were born for. Honestly after
almost forty years on this earth I have no idea what I am “destined” for. The
simple statement is: I am a nurse. Whether my co-workers agree with me or not,
I am good at my job (perfect, no, knowledgeable, adaptable, hardworking, yes).
This isn’t ego talking. I am not one of those people that walk around thinking
I am shit hot. I have met those people, I am not those people. Is there room for
improvement? Of course! I am nurse because a) it is a steady job, b) it’s
something I do well, and c) I see it as my duty to society. I absolutely love
that the generation behind mine (I swear to sweet Jesus if you call me a millennial,
I will kick you were it counts), that has gone to college and gone on into semi
adulthood following their dreams, following where the wind takes them, a hundred
thousand dollar master’s degree in gender studies through interpretive dance
(WTF are you going to do with that?!). The best example I have is my former sister-in-law.
She was BRILLANT in math. An absolute rock star. Someone that could have
inspired young girls for generations to pursue mathematics and become leaders
in the field. She could have become a leader in the field. But what did she do?
Chose to pursue a career that satisfied her needs instead of contributing to
society as a whole. I love to write. I love photography. I would love nothing
more than to sit at home and write all day or read the great works of literature.
I would love to be back in the dark room were I found peace. Where if found
some semblance of self. But I chose to do what would contribute the greatest good
to society instead of what would be the biggest burden. So nursing is not my
calling. It is my duty. Ps...I took that photo and the one that is the background for this blog.
