Radio

For the past two days I have heard some of the most disturbing things on the radio while driving to work. I know some things are said and done on the radio for shock value, but others are just to prompt discussion. I will start with yesterday's conversation, since there was a news story similar to it, involving a celebrity.

I will not name the radio show, but yesterday morning they were talking about spanking. Apparently Kate from "Jon and Kate plus Eight" was caught on camera swatting one of her children. Apparently there was some huge uproar about how it was child abuse and inappropriate for her to use that method of discipline...and blah, blah, blah. Well the conversation was pretty loaded for both sides. Personally I have no problem with spanking. Now going to town on a child in anger...that is a different story. But a few swatts on a child's butt to get their attention and to teach them there are consequences to their actions, in my book, is enforcing discipline, which A LOT of young people lack these days. When you have children, it is your job to be their PARENT, not their friend. Children's ego's are not as fragile as we seem to think and spanking does not make a child violent nor does it make them think its ok to hit others. I was spanked as a child and I am not a violent person, neither one of my siblings are violent people. Did we hit eachother as kids, yes, but it wasn't because we were mimicking the spankings, it was because we are kids and since we lacked the mental and verbal maturity to express our feelings in a calm rational manner, hitting was the easiest way to express anger and hurt, as it is for most children. More often than not these days, I see children in full blown tantrums at stores and restaurants, and their parents do nothing about it. Now swatting them then and there is left up to your choice, however, I think the child does need firm discipline at that point, so take the kid to the car or bathroom, don't just let them scream away...its more embarassing for you than it is for them. And if your child is doing that in a public place, clearly you are not setting a clear set of rules and expectations for your child. I know small children are going to have meltdowns, but if your kid is honestly being a brat...your parenting skills need help. Now on the flip side of that, I feel its wrong for someone to tell me how I should raise my child. Personally I feel, the child is half my genetic code and I carried him/her for nine months, I went through the changes to my body, and I pushed the kid out...I reserve the right to tell that child what to do for the next 18 years of her/ his life. You may not agree with my form of parenting, you don't have to, but butt out and keep your opinions to yourself. Unless I am beating the crap out of the kid or starving it to death, or constantly yelling insults at the poor thing...BUTT OUT. Now good on Liv Tyler for being a concerned mom and helping children who are abused, however, unless you really know a whole situation, don't butt your nose into a situation you briefly glance at as you drive by.

The second disturbing conversation was about women eating on dates. There is such a double standard that its ridiculous! I know when you go on a first date you are nervous and want to make a good impression and you don't want to appear "high maintenance" so water and salad for dinner. However, when you do this, you are starving for the rest of the night. So what do you do? Well, the radio show asked men about what they think of women on both ends of the spectrum: women who do the water and salad thing and women who go to town when they eat. The general opinion was: it depends on the size of the girl. If she is tiny, she can eat what she wants because apparently she works out and has a great metabolism, but if she is on the heftier side (no specific definition as to how big is "hefty") if she eats a large meal she will continue to be a fatty and probably get bigger (not attractive), but if she eats a salad she is health concious and trying to loose weight. In my personal opinion WHO FREAKING CARES?! If you are judging a person based on what they eat for dinner you clearly lack the maturity to enter into a serious relationship, not to mention you have demented ideas on what is healthy and what is not healthy, and you are ultra shallow. Just because a girl is skinny doesn't mean she works out. I can provide two examples. The first one is this girl who was in my A and P class. She was Barbie. Come to find out, the girl ate junk all the time! McDonalds was her establishment. She didn't workout, she just took diet pills that made her sick. The second example is my sister (sorry Becca). She eats like a horse, hardly works out, and is stick thin. Some people are just lucky. Now me on the other hand, I have to watch what I eat, I workout three to four times a week for an hour and a half. I barely squeeze into a size four!! Any deviation from my normal routine and I gain weight in a matter on minutes! So I guess what I am saying is, if you are judging someone by what they eat on first date...you need to get a life.

Fifteen Books

Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose.

1. The Mists of Avalon By Marion Zimmer Bradley- One of the longest books I have ever read, but so worth the read...beautiful story about the legends of King Arthur.
2. The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess- I learned to read with this book and I remember my Dad reading this book to use before we went to bed, and Go, Dogs, Go! was the other one!
3. The Last Slice of Rainbow- I checked this book out in elementary school, it had some of the weirdest stories, but I loved it.
4. The Killing Zone by Fredrick Downs Jr.- compelling autobiography about his tour in Vietnam. I had never read a book like this before, it promted me to branch out.
5. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen- my favorite book! I saw You've Got Mail and then saw the 1940's of the book and was so interested I read it. Now I am a HUGE fan of Austen.
6. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy- I hated this book. It was not about her it was about Russian politics. I read it in attempt to be more cultured and it sucked.
7. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan- Saw the movie, loved the book better. I became a fan of Amy Tan's work.
8. The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien- These books were given to me by my father, they sat in my room forever, until I saw the preview for the movie. Once you get past the first 50 pages of The Hobbit...you will never for get Middle Earth
9. Kirsten- The American Girl Series- Picked up these books in fifth grade and fell in love with them. They teach great lessons and have wonderful adventures that if I have a daughter I hope she enjoys!
10. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin- The one and only "murder" mystery I like.
11. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll- I agrued and argued with my dad about reading this book and in the end I loved it. Alice is me, and I am Alice.
12. The Christmas Box by Richard Paul Evans- The first book that made me cry. This book was amazing, truly a sad, but beautiful story.
13. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas- I picked this book up from the "we recommend" section at Barnes and Noble and loved it. The movie cannot compare to the book. There is so much going on, its mystery, betrayal, love, and sword fighting...awesome.
14. The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis- read these in an anthology on my honeymoon. So cute! Who wouldn't want to live in Narnia! I want children just like the ones in the book!
15. The Villa by Nora Roberts- The one and only romance novel I will EVER read. I read a section of it in Cosmo and I was laughing so hard by the end, tears were streaming down my face, so I had to read the whole story.

Free Speech?

There are so many things going on in my life and around my life right now that I would like to speak out about or share, however, my right to free speech has been taken from me. Because of my husband's job, I am no longer allowed to express freely how I feel and what I think about certain things. Patch night was a wonderful reminder of the things I miss, the things that frustrate me, the things I love, and the anger and sense of loss and not- belonging I feel. Congratulations to Shado by the way! Go on vacation!

The most frustrating thing in the world is to see the empty look in my husband's eyes and the inability to change things beyond my control. What do I do? I feel like someone should speak up and someone should keep the hope, but that only secures Jeremy's fate instead of helping to change it. Sigh.....

Pet Peeves

Pet peeves are suppose to be little personal annoyances or something I find personally annoying. Last night while trying to distract myself enough to fall asleep, I thought about all the things I consider my pet peeves. I realized that I had some general ones and some specific ones and most could be classified by location or activity I am participating in. One of the biggest ones I have is stupid people. I know that defines a broad spectrum of people, I am sure I have been classified in that section at one point in time or another. The specific stupid people I was thinking about last night were drivers. There are some stupid drivers out there. The ones that cut you off, the ones that drive 10 miles an hour under the freaking speed limit, the ones that sit in your blind spot and honk at you when you try to pull over. I also thought about punk teenagers. This day and age teenagers have no respect for anyone, not even themselves. They dress like slobs or they show too much skin. I hate the hairstyles boys are wearing, if you are going to wear your hair long freaking wash it and keep it out of your face, you look like an idiot. Also I don't remember sounding or acting that stupid when I was that age. (I am sure someone will disagree with me there). Also chicks at the gym, if you are there to sweat and really workout good on you, however if you are there to find a "friend" why workout in the women's gym? I think women who put on a full face of make-up and do their hair all pretty just to go to the gym are going to the gym for the wrong reason and you look stupid. Not to mention, you may have a great rack, and I am sure the men appreciate it, however, those of us in the women's gym could care less about the great job your plastic surgeon did. Also for those of you who sit on a machine (NOT USING IT) and talking or texting on your cell phone really need to stop doing that. That is really annoying because it always seems to happen when I need to use that machine to finish my workout. I am glad I no longer workout at the Y because I was really getting sick of the 10 year kids messing around with the equiptment on a busy day while their parents did nothing to stop them. Thats another thing that annoys me is parents who have little to no control over their children. I know everyone has an off day (lately it seems like I am having an off life), but when your kid is laying on the floor of the Target screaming at the top of their lungs and all you do is ignore them and walk away or beg them to stop...you need to get some lessons in disciplining your child. (I know there are parents out there that are thinking "We'll see what you do when you are a parent!") Well what I would do, now a days, would be considered abuse...a swat on the butt and an immediate drop everything and leave the store. But you are right, we'll see.

Finally Home

Well back from Japan. Had a blast. Managed to make friends and lose some. Although I am 1-2 for the losing friends factor. For Saturday night, I am sorry. I was really scared and had no idea what happened. Believe me or don't, but people who do nothing but judge others need to get a life and realize people make mistakes, and a true friend will stick with someone through their challenges.