This is a story...a story about...suspicion and paranoia...hubris and the downfall...politics and ethics....death and life...and a weird Electra complex.
Suspicion and paranoia:
Always in a Greek play there is murder and mystery and in Shakespeare there is suspicion and paranoia...so maybe this part is more like a Shakespearean play rather than a Greek one. Dr Fails us All went to a conference with the "dean" of our school (I use that term "dean" loosley...I am not entirely sure what she does), and at this conference learned about the new and magical ways students are cheating. Scratch your nose...the answer is A, tap your pencil on the desk...the answer is B, look up the answer is C, clear your throat the answer is D. So at the beginning of our test she told us she would be roaming the room watching us for any of these so called "signals" we were sending to eachother. I was so focused on not making a twitch during the test, I couldn't focus on the test. There is something mentally wrong with that woman. If we were cheaters we would not have made as far as we have in the program, not to mention we all know that cheating will just screw us all over in the end...we still have to pass the NCLEX. Have you ever seen "Conspiracy Theory"? The one where Mel Gibson has a million copies of "Catcher in the Rye"? Honestly, I think Dr Fails us All is a highly paranoid schizophrenic with rapid cycle bipolar.
Hubris and Downfall:
Everyone knows how much I love the heart. Eventually after I wear myself out in the Trauma/ER I would like to be a cardiac care nurse. After I graduate I do plan to take an ACLS course. I brag about the wonderful grade I received on the first semester cardiac test. I talk about working in a cardio clinic. And yet some how I managed to get one of the worst grades I have received in nursing school. I Lord forgive me for I have sinned! I see the error of my ways!!! Pride is a sin. And I was a cardio sinner and I have learned my lesson. I am now humbled and ashamed.
Politics and Ethics:
The other day in lab we went through a mock code. Before we went into it, we were discussing everyone's experiences in clinical. A couple of the girls were talking about their chance to do CPR on a pt who coded. They performed CPR for 45 minutes on the person until he finally died. My comments about not having the patience to do CPR for 45 minutes came out in the wrong way. I first look at the situation like this: unless you are Superman, no one should have to do CPR for 45 minutes. I was under the impression there was only two of them doing CPR, when in fact there was a group of people helping with compressions. Then I thought about the patient. Not knowing their background...I made a judgement call. What kind of quality of life would someone have IF they survived? The brain can survive without oxygen for up to six minutes. After six minutes brain cells deprived of oxygen begin to die causing brain damage. While early onset of CPR may extend this time, ultimately the cells will die. I could not find an exact time at which brain death occurs, not to mention its a long and lengthy process and legal process, to determine brain death. But the point is, after 45 minutes of CPR, if the person survives what kind of quality of life will that person have, if any, and what kind of stress are you placing on the family and the healthcare system? If a person repeatedly codes, at what point in time do we let nature take its course? There is something to be said for letting nature take its course. I am all for saving lives and doing what needs to be done for as long as it needs to be done, but I am also a realist. I am also not one for false hope. I know right now I am not skill and seasoned enough to know when someone will die, but there are nurses that do know. Why, when the main purpose of nursing is to care, do we go to extremes to prevent the inevitable...and in the long run cause more damage in a myraid of different areas?
Death and Life:
I absolutely love the ER! We got to spend a day in the ER...finally! I stuck so many IVs and took so much blood. It was fantastic. I watched an intubation...I would really like to do that and I smelled the fruity breath of a diabetic in ketoacidosis. It was fabulous. I could have worked in there for more than the ten hours we were there. But alas!! All things must die! This is the last week of med-surg clinical and I only got to see the ER once. I wish Psych clinical would die...instead. But isn't that the way of tragic plays? The person you love the most is the one who dies?
Weird Electra Complex:
It wouldn't be a Greek play without some complex. It has nothing to do with school. One of my favorite shows is NCIS. I so have a thing for Mark Harmon. The man is a silver haired fox! His character on the show makes him even more attractive. He is an ex-marine with a type-A personality. He has this silent commanding way, but has layers, like an onion, and a creamy middle. He is a man's man. Every time I watch the show, I remind Jeremy that if he is like Gibbs at that age...woohoo! Well last time we watched the show he turned to me said, "I can tell you the real reason you are attracted to Gibbs." I asked him not to tell me because I knew he would ruin it. He smiled wickedly at me "It's because he's just like your father!" he said triumphantly. Gross. Absolutely gross. But ladies can you blame me? Mark Harmon without the character...yum. And who wouldn't be attracted to a man who knows what he wants in life? Who can be a snappy dresser, and has a charming smile. I am not saying my dad isn't any of these things (I just threw up a little in my mouth), but Mark/ Gibbs is a totally different animal. They are like the butterflies that mimic eachother, but one is poisonous (ie my dad) and the other is harmless and they don't breed together. Ok I am just making this a lot worse, but needless to say Gross.
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