And the answer is: Not to Doula. No offense to the two doulas I know. They are great people and I am sure they are a comfort and a joy to the people that use them, however, I am not the type of person who needs the assitance of a doula.
Today for lab we had two doulas come and talk to us about what it is they do and the purpose they serve for the birthing woman. Well you all know me and hippies. I thought the presentation was sort of ridiculous. The majority of the things they do like support the mother, encourage her, give her back rubs, help her have the most natural birth possible, are all things I can do on my own or Jeremy will do (although I don't think he quiet understands that yet). I don't need someone in the L & D room with me, smelling like patchouli oil (one of the most discusting smells in the world), cleansing my aura, and trying to "empower" me. I am thinking: here I am in the squatting position or the lithotomy position, 500lbs overweight, sweating like a pig, possibly soiling myself, pushing out an eight pound bowling ball, and some freak of nature is trying to tell me to envision bloody rainbows! If I have the strength I would get up and bitch slap them and if not I would tell them to go f- themselves.
Personally I plan to have a natural birth. Both my grandma's did and my mom had four natural births (Matt was c-section cause he was breech), I think I am built for a natural birth. Not to mention there is no way on God's green earth someone is sticking a needle in my freaking spine. I am all about letting the mother make the decisions about walking and the position to lay in. We have been giving birth for thousands of years, medicine is good and all but there is something to be said for nature. Now I know a doula is suppose to encourage this process, but this is something that is discussed with the OB/GYN or midwife before hand. And I honestly feel that Jeremy helped create the child he is damn sure going to help me give birth. He can give me back rubs and help me through breathing patterns. He can make sure I am drinking and eating and that I get enough pillows. He can walk me around, help me with a shower, and do all those "empowering" things doulas do...although if he tells me to envision rainbows coming out of there I'll bitch slap him too. Also, I am going to be up for display for God and everyone...the fewer people in that room looking down there and at me as a complete mess the better.
So for me its NOT to doula....sorry Doula in accelerated and my friend Allison :(. I am sure you both are great at your jobs, but its just not for me.
Let me know how that whole natural thing goes for you! I said the same thing, but after 15 hours of labor with no drugs the needle could have been the size of my arm and still would have said "stick it in me now" (STS)!
ReplyDeleteHa! Ha! I just found your blog and it's hilarious...you know i love to read about egotistical a-hole surgeons, especially OB's. It's cool about the doula thing...it certainly isn't for everyone. More than anything though, women (should) have the right to have any kind of support system she needs or wants in labor and birth. And to the surprise of many moms, it is not to be found in your average L&D nurse. Not because they don't want to, but because they have 3 or 4 other moms and a lot of charting to keep up with.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for keeping on with nursing school!! My husband is in PA school at Touro, almost done with his third semester of classroom work. He has also had OB/GYN this semester and I've been so proud of him not drinking the "every birth is a crisis waiting to happen" kool-aid of medical school. Sounds like you may feel the same way : )
Hope you are well..I'm almost finished with my MA at UNLV that I started ages ago. Haven't done much doula work with being in school, but would love to get back to it. Though the thought of more hospital births with a-hole docs sometimes leads me to think of other plans...
Good luck and take care!!
Allison